Forgive Me, Father, for I Have Sinned

In previous articles, we have examined the role humor has played in shaping our history. It is undeniable that we often use laughter as a means of coping with the horrors of everyday life. Our psychic make-up is often confronted with things it simply can’t handle and processes the information in a way that is palatable to the human brain. Humor is often the remedy to reality. Jokes help human beings cope. Case in point? Catholic jokes, specifically, are intended to poke fun at priests and their sexual activities. One could argue these jokes were a plea from the abused and were told to unmask the truth, and yes, I am going there. So, if you are easily offended by disparaging catholic jokes, STOP READING. If, however, you went to a catholic school, heard these jokes back in the day and were not offended by them, then read on.

Joke #1

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.

Joke #2

A priest was hearing confession and had to take a piss. He saw a janitor by the altar and waved him over. He asked the janitor to hear any confessions that came in while he went to take a piss. Before exiting the confessional, the priest handed the janitor an index card listing various sins and corresponding penances. The janitor had just sat down when a young teen girl entered the confessional and began, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. My boyfriend and I have had oral sex. The janitor looked on the index card for blow job, but there was nothing listed. The girl continued, “And we have had anal sex.”

The janitor looks down at the card and scans the list for butt fuck, and again, sees nothing. He doesn’t know what to do, so he sticks his head out of the confessional and looks around. He sees an altar boy and waves him over and whispers, “Hey, what does the priest usually give for a butt fuck and a blow job?” Without missing a beat, he replies, “Two candy bars and a soda.”

These jokes are in no way an approval of the horrific deeds many priests have perpetrated throughout the … dare I say … centuries. But through the use of humor, we humans are able to cope with unspeakable pain and tragedy, and in some instances, humor is the catalyst for change. Let the jokes shine a light on the improprieties of the day so no one else has to suffer them.