Welcome to Trumplandia!

Hey, Donny boy, I’ve had an epiphany. In case you don’t know what that means, I’ll ex— … never mind. Let me just simply say that I have had an idea I would like to share with you. Agree to resign the presidency and in exchange, you get to become king of Trumlandia. Sound too good to be true? Not in the least, but there are a few caveats you may want to have your best lawyers review. Do you have any left, or are they all in prison?

First, you get your wall, but the WALL will need to be built around the state of Indiana that will then be re-christened, Trumplandia. This will be the new homeland of your supporters. It will likely displace a number of minorities, but don’t worry, they can seek asylum in more progressive states. You will be crowned King of Trumplandia, ruling from your golden throne, high atop the Trump Tower Indianapolis. Mike Pence will act as your Ambassador of Goodwill, spreading happiness and good cheer throughout the land. Your biggest trading partner will be Russia. You won’t be allowed to travel to the United States, though; a travel ban has been imposed because the majority of your kingdom are coronavirus super spreaders. But don’t let this cause you any concern. Because of the big, beautiful WALL you built around your kingdom, your kingdom is secure, but it has no ventilators and very few doctors. Again, no problem. We'll get all of the pastors that have joined you to pray the virus away. That should work!

This is the win you have been looking for, and if you are still on the wall about what to do next, let me mention another selling point. Trumplandia does not plan on entering into an extradition treaty with the United States, so when you do leave office and the New York Attorney General issues a warrant for your arrest, you'll be safe. Please consider this offer. Your resignation will save lives, and get you what you want. This is not fake news. It's a real offer; take it, for the love of all things holy, take it!

Sincerely,

A Very Stable Smartass

#politicalsatire, #politics, #thewall, #trumplandia, #humorouspoliticalcommentary, #trumpresign